I wrote this poem: The Bridge

Posted on Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 in poems Tags: ,

This was inspired by a photo prompt on A Thousand Words.

The Bridge

I’ve crossed this bridge a thousand times
in sunshine, mist and pouring rain.
I’ve crossed it with my hopes raised high,
or with my heart sunk deep in pain.

One direction lies adventure,
and all the brightness of the day;
Into the world I fling myself
to learn, to love, to work, to play.

The other way will lead me home
towards the peaceful setting sun,
Where I’ll lay rest my joys and griefs,
and thankful, call my journey done.

© 2009 C Sharp

There’s something about writing in rhyme that means I’m never totally satisfied. I think it’s because some of my rhyming words seem very trite and/or childish, and I feel like I’ve forced other words in (or out) to fit with the meter. Oh well. I’ve tweaked this enough for now that it’s time to call the poem done.

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12 Responses to 'I wrote this poem: The Bridge'

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  1. jakill said,

    on January 7th, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    I saw this pic so I know where you are coming from. It’s an interesting take on it. I know what you mean about writing in rhyme but this looks fine to me. Well done.

    jakill´s last post: Wordless Wednesday – Towards Glastonbury Tor

  2. Margaret said,

    on January 8th, 2009 at 2:42 am

    Lovely poem. Rather Walt Whitman-ish in its’ subject and meter. Very well done!

    ê¿ê

    Margaret´s last post: Which Watch?

  3. Relax Max said,

    on January 8th, 2009 at 4:25 am

    A poem is never really done to the author’s satisfaction, I think, but in the end you must finally just stop and declare it finished.

    It doesn’t evoke Whitman at all in me, but rather another American poet that I have liked since childhood. And one of my favorite poems by him, which inspired one of my blogs, actually, is what this one reminds me of.

    I love it Catherine. It is just so good.

    Relax Max´s last post: American humor: Benny Hill, only without the plot

  4. Jim Murdoch said,

    on January 8th, 2009 at 8:47 am

    There is a tendency when working in rhyme to pick safe words I would agree. The biggest fault I find with amateur rhymed poetry is sloppy rhythm, extra syllables tripping up the reader and the strong syllables falling in all the wrong places. First verses are usually the strongest but then how do you replicate that shape? I would be tempted to split this into three stanzas but that’s about it.

    Jim Murdoch´s last post: Laidlaw

  5. Susan said,

    on January 8th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    I enjoyed this much, for many reasons. I like meter and rhyme, and after all the best poets in our literature used it beautifully. When I use it now, I can’t help worrying that I’m sounding more like Dr. Seuss than Coleridge, but Max is so right: the hardest one to please is often ourselves!

    Susan´s last post: For This I’d Even Wear Shoes.

  6. Shari Smothers said,

    on January 8th, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    Lovely poem, Catherine! Excellent and compelling imagery.

    Shari Smothers´s last post: healthy habits: mind, spirit and body

  7. Catherine said,

    on January 8th, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    Thank you all for the comments and encouragements. I’m flattered by the comparisons to Whitman (who I haven’t read enough of) and Frost (who’s been on my mind lately – Jim’s fault, weirdly enough), but I’m not going to read anything into them. :)

    Jim: You’re right, it would go well split into 3 stanzas, and I’ve tweaked my ’stored’ copy accordingly.

  8. ~willow~ said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 4:58 am

    I know next to nothing about how poetry is supposed to be. All I can tell you is I really enjoyed this poem. The change of emotions when traveling one way or the other – I like that!

    ~willow~´s last post: another 3-in-1 :)

  9. Ken Armstrong said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 11:52 am

    Why not break the blog copy into stanzas too? I wouldn’t have thought of it but I see that it could be a good idea.

    I like it a lot, I don’t always comment on poetry straight off (or ever) but I really like it.

    My childish instinct for rhythm suggests that 10 could perhaps have another beat? Depends on how you say ‘towards’ – we Sligo people do it in one syllable. :)

    Ken Armstrong´s last post: Ah Sweet Mysteries of Life…

  10. Catherine said,

    on January 10th, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    Grr, Ken, you’re so pushy! Blog copy tweaked appropriately. (And I, and I suspect most people, have two syllables in towards.) :D

    Willow: glad you liked it!

  11. Ken Armstrong said,

    on January 12th, 2009 at 4:42 pm

    It looks so much better though, eh?

    I really *do* do ‘towards’ with one syllable. I know it’s wrong… :)

    Ken Armstrong´s last post: Ah Sweet Mysteries of Life…

  12. Catherine said,

    on January 12th, 2009 at 9:31 pm

    Not my fault you talk funny, Ken… :)
    Actually, if I’m talking normal like, I probly say twards as well… (Spelling errors intentional.)