I wrote this poem: Hiraeth
Written this week, because I fancied playing with form, and it’s been a long while since I’ve been inspired to write poetry.
Hiraeth
Homesick, heartsick:
You examine the choices that left you
Far from the land you call home,
Wondering, wandering,
In this new place.
There’s something lacking,
Or so you thought;
You picked up your life and moved on.
The familiar was left behind:
Family and friends and the very root of your soul
Discarded like so much worthless rubbish.
No more tugs on the heartstrings from the old land.
Could you be happy now?
No more tugs on the heartstrings from the old land.
Discarded like so much worthless rubbish:
Family and friends and the very root of your soul,
The familiar was left behind.
You picked up your life and moved on,
Or so you thought.
There’s something lacking
In this new place.
Wondering, wandering,
Far from the land you call home,
You examine the choices that left you
Homesick, heartsick.
© 2008 C Sharp
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on February 10th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
That’s really good - I’d never be able to do that! I’m fascinated now, I keep reading it lol
on February 11th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Thanks for your kind words, Claire! Although it wasn’t really that difficult to do, honest… and annoyingly, now I’ve posted it, I can see ways in which I could have improved it (such as keeping going with the two-word alliterative lines). But I’m not dissatisfied, overall. And it was an interesting challenge to myself.
on March 8th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Hiya
Enjoyed the poem! I was interested in your comment (above) that you can see ways you could have improved it…
Would you not consider making those revisions and reposting/overposting them? Or this that in breach of some unbreachable blogging etiquitte (Sorry, I’m *such* a newbie!!). I’m not ‘dissing’ the poem but personally I love to revise, revise, revise and think it’s the most rewarding part of the whole process.
on March 8th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
No, it’s not blogging etiquette (at least that I know of). It’s just a personal thing. I revise my prose an awful lot (except when I’m going for quantity over quality, like during NaNoWriMo and at the moment), but I tend to come to a finish on poems quite quickly and say ‘there, it’s done, no more changes’… even if sometimes afterwards I can see room for improvement. I think it’s because I like the roughness that my poetry can have; I like that it’s a quick fix of writing rather than the greater investment of a short story or novel (or a software manual, in the case of work) - I suppose in that sense, my poems are like the blog posts of my creative mind?
It’s probably not the most sensible way of working, but then, I write poetry for my own amusement and to appease my muse, not because I want it to be perfect. If I were to enter a competition or suchlike, I’d definitely edit again and again - but then I’d be worried about over-editing.
Argh, the dilemma!
on March 26th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Well I like this poem a lot, and I’m glad you shared it with us
Joanna
on March 27th, 2008 at 12:56 am
I think this is beautiful. Personally, I love to hone my poetry. I do reach a point where I feel it’s as good as I can get it at this point, but then later down the line, years in the distance if I come across it I might make more changes because of those years of growth.
To me, a poem is like a gemstone buried in the raw earth. You have to dig at it a bit, well a lot in the beginning, you have to carve it from it’s hiding place. Then you have to sand it, dust it, bring it’s shining surfaces into the light. Seeing the glimpse of it’s beauty beneath the layers of dirt is captivating but if you take the time to truly polish and shape the stone you’ll end up with a keepsake you (and others) will truly treasure.
Of course, we all come to writing poetry for our own reasons and if you’re content with what you’ve written, if it’s soothed your soul and served its purpose then it already is perfect.
on March 27th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Joanna, Rebecca, I’m pleased you liked the poem (I’m still not happy with it, but as mentioned previously, I’m not going to rewrite).
I loved your analogy, Rebecca, of a poem being like a gemstone. I’m quite fond of rough-cut gems, as it happens, which ties in well to how I serve up my poems!